Reflection: Looking Through The Glass Of The College Of Medicine

I thought I was dead.

That was until I opened my eyes back to reality. My lungs seemed to tighten as I gasped for air. It was terribly difficult for me to breathe. Then I can feel my sweat flowing freely. That was an awful dream. It seemed so real the thought made me shiver. So I closed my eyes and started to calm myself. Neglecting the growing fear, I did my best to search the place I was in. The sun shines so bright outside, illuminating the room as I started to familiarize the view. I laughed at the idea. I don’t even know how I got here in the first place. I searched the room and saw series of iron stools resting upside down the table, several sinks, a lot of I-don’t-know-what-to-call instruments and a mannequin with an exposed anatomy. I fell asleep here, inside the laboratory. Then I gazed at the glass shelves containing a variety of bones and fossils. As I looked at the items I saw my reflection. Staring at the glass, I examined and realized how pale and thin I am. I looked short, not even pretty

and seemed so lifeless. After the invasion of introspection, I heard the door open and saw Mr. Kiel Mortega, the Laboratory-Aid Officer, followed by several students. Anyway there’s just a few students here, with 62 students as the pioneering batch. That’s what I know. Days after I got here, I realized that this building is a medical school, a newborn College of Medicine (CM) in Bicol University (BU) offering Doctor of Medicine in Public Administration, Major in Health and Disaster (MD-PDA). Actually, even President Benigno S. Aquino III flew his way to get here during its inauguration last May 2014, a month before its formal opening. But I wasn’t here yet that time.

The college building is quite big, having four floors. They call it the phase I. Offices are situated on the first floor particularly the office of the college’s dean, Ruben N. Caragay M.D., MPH, Ph. D. He started office last July 29, 2013. Inside this building were classrooms, mostly small ones utilized for small group discussion (SGDs). There are also laboratories used for subjects like physiology, anatomy and biochemistry. Meanwhile, the phase II refers to the community. Since their course is

community-oriented, they would go on field from time to time. Lastly is the phase three. It’s still under construction, situated just behind this building. Additional laboratories and facilities will be offered there as the number of students starts to increase in years’ time. Dr. Caragay together with some of his staff went for a school caravan the other year. They visited other state universities and colleges here in Bicol, aiming to introduce BUCM, which I also heard to be the first state university medical school in the region with the MPA program. Last year after typhoon Glenda hit Bicol, damages were incurred in this place. As result, the students went on field to fulfill their curriculum. They had their community diagnosis of the typhoon’s wrath. They hopped from one evacuation center to another, one clinic to another. They may not cure diseases that time but they need to practice basic clinical concepts and to practice how to deal with victims of disasters. This place felt empty – literally until the time when I met my best buddy. Also, the thought that I met a buddy was more fascinating. I thought I’d be alone. I’m glad I wasn’t anymore. And there was a new room – so cold and comfortable. I liked the place even more. It was differently good. I was delighted of the low temperature. I can fall asleep easily and take a nap whenever I have the chance. Days have passed swiftly. It has never been boring. I felt a little bit secured having a companion. I started to convince myself that I should embrace this life, no matter what lies ahead. Though I’m thinking of something. Consistent and weird nightmares have been haunting me. It was like about my unknown history – where I came from and who I really am. Knowing this, my buddy told me not to overthink things. He said I’d be ending having headaches if I overthink or force myself to re-member my history.

For the last two years, the med students got involved in the BU Week. Though they were less in number, it didn’t stop them to let other Bue - nos feel their team and make their college proud. According to Dr. Caragay, the students facilitated a sort of exhibit to also let other students experience how to be a medical stude for a day during the BU week. And I’m certain it was a great experience. “We also had exhibits, pharmaceutical films and services featuring integrative medicine. We are not just into western medicine, but this is more on traditional or alternative type, like the Chinese traditional medicine. Maraming nagattend. Inabot nga kami hanggang hapon,” Dr. Caragay stated. These future doctors were also on full blast in line with community services. They were deployed on eight areas wherein they stayed for about a month. Some of the places where I heard they immersed in were Sorsogon, Camarines Sur, Pio Duran, Libon, Polangui, Camalig and Sto. Do - mingo. They were actually skilled. Also, I heard that almost 50 percent of the stu - dents were nursing graduates so they have the background and knowledge. Yet, they still underwent a basic life support system. Prior to the immersion on the eight areas, they were exposed once every week to clinics and to the Bicol Regional Training and Teaching Hospital (BRTTH). Dr. Caragay added that “They learned how to relate with the patients, as well as with the doctors and staffs of the hospital although they still do not know how to cure. Only those simple things, on how to interview the patient and the physical diagnosis.

The college was born during former President Lauraya’s last year in service. Hence, Dr. Caragay expects the next administration to continue - ously support the college. He’s also expecting the admin to provide them the resources and more permanent staffs. He explained, “Mahirap kasi kung every two months, nire-release sila. Minsan kasi may skills na sila tapos aalis.” As I began over thinking things, my head started to hurt so I shut my eyes closed and sent myself to sleep. Then I was again seeing a familiar dream. I saw myself lying on what I initially thought as bed, until my senses kicked in and made me feel the coldness of the operating table against my back. Beside me was a metal hospital cart with various surgi - cal tools. I saw forceps, scalpels, masks and other tools I didn’t know existed. Not from afar I saw a sink smudged with dark streaks which I presumed to be blood. I shivered. I want to run but I felt so numb and weak to move even my finger. I was naked and realized the various wires and needles piercing into my skin. Then about four to six doctors surrounded me. One of them removed the tubes and wires connected to my body. I felt a rush of panic as they started to talk with a language I don’t even understand. But I’m certain that they’re planning something that will not entirely go in my favor. Then the other doctor held a scalpel on his hands and handed it to the other. The other grabbed a pair of dissecting scissors. This made me anxious. What are they going to do with me? I looked down and saw one of the doctors daintily peeling off my skin with the scalpel. I saw a trickle of blood ooze out as the doctor continued to gaze my skin off. I should feel pain but why am I not feeling any pain at all? What are they doing to me? The other doctor stood closer to me. I braced myself as he positioned the scalpel just inches from my face. I wanted to vanish as fast as possible, but I couldn’t. It’s nerve cracking. I couldn’t take it anymore. I closed my eyes and saw nothing but darkness. Suddenly, I felt the coldness against my back. I knew I wasn’t lying on a bed. It wasn’t cottony or warm. I can hear voices. My thin body felt weak and frozen; like I was injected with gal - loons of anesthesia. I know I should be afraid, but I wasn’t. I tried to open my eyes, allowing myself be delighted with light. I saw the students, clad in their white and mint green clothes. I heard them discussing terms I didn’t know. They’re in a circular form and their backs are facing me. I still have questions in mind but I still cannot believe that it’s been almost a year since I’ve been here. A lot of good things had happened. It was a good start. I know that there will be a lot more things, even better to come. One of the students called the name Henry. I got curious and gazed at them eagerly. As I watched them drew apart, I saw whom they’re calling with that name. It was my best buddy. Memories came flooding back, even that dream which haunted me every time. Then I remembered the time when I looked at my reflection at the glass. That’s why I looked odd, a plastinated being. And so I realized who really I am. –

𝙒𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙗𝙮 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙚 𝙇𝙖𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙂𝙖𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙡 𝘼𝙥𝙪𝙡𝙞